Tuesday, April 06, 2004

We're All Going Straight to Hell
This is funny: Landover Baptist, a parody website purporting to be from a church "guaranteeing salvation since 1612; where the worthwhile worship." It's one of the most dead-on--and dead vicious--parodies of religious nonsense anywhere on the Internet.

This is funnier: the campaign by a Christian group to get Landover Baptist shut down. It reads like something Landover Baptist created (starting with the blunderbuss proclamation that since America, a Christian nation, created the Internet, it shouldn't be used to spread anti-Christian propaganda). You can't necessarily rule it out, given our close proximity to April Fools Day. Not to mention the fact that the Landover Baptist site was hacked last week so its main page pointed to the shutdown campaign page instead. And then there are the biographies of the ministry's leaders:

--"Peggy is the wife of Pastor Dr. Miller and an active member in our movement. At our bi-weekly meetings, she helps keep the other members motivated with her uplifting spirit and her wonderful peanut-butter cookies! ('Shhh... the secret ingredient is honey.')"

--"Tim has worked tirelessly as our Treasurer, taking time from his tax practice to aid us. As an accountant, he has to deal daily with the soulless secular world and so he takes great pleasure in putting his knowledge of accountancy to use in the righteous cause of Our Lord. If you ever need your taxes filed, come see Tim. He gives a 5% discount for all Christians and 10% discount for non-Christians willing to convert on the spot."

--"Jack also enjoys vexillology and can signal Bible passages from memory in fluent semaphore."

But the bio that tips the hand of parody a bit too far is this one: "Fred--or as he likes to be called, Skeet--is a valuable member of the Mt. Fellowship Baptist congregation as well as having his own youth ministry rock band: Zounds! He was recently appointed Abstinence Czar by the Fellowship Baptist Convention. He was also the one who brought this whole Internet thing to our attention. Thanks Skeet!" The band's oeuvre includes such tunes as "The Ballad of John the Baptist," "YMCA (It's Fun to Pray)," and "Baby Got Baptism," which purportedly features "M.C. S-Katologee of Jiggy4Jesus"--which is just too perfectly funny to be real.

But, parody or not, at least the group has the style to do the Doobie Brothers' "Jesus is Just Alright."

This Just In: Speaking of hell--and I mean this in complete and utter seriousness--word's come down in the last 15 minutes of 12 more Americans dead in Iraq around Fallujah. I've posted a quick comment and link to the details on Best of the Blogs.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?