Wednesday, June 02, 2004

Shit Happens
Somebody's probably already gotten a PhD somewhere by studying the phenomenon of e-mail forwarding. Every now and then I get one that's actually funny--for example, the Republican National Committee convention schedule for 2004. Some selected bits:

6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell
6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance
6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding Second Amendment)
6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
6:46 PM Seminar #1: Getting your kid a military deferment
7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong

8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The homos are after your children
8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (men only)
8:50 PM Seminar #2: Corporations--the government of the future
9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong

10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black Republicans
10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong

11:35 PM Blame Clinton
11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies
11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself
12:00 AM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Master of ALL
You can read the whole thing here. There doesn't seem to be a Democratic version yet, but there will be. And when there is, it won't be funny, so don't send it to me.

Yet Another Quote of the Day: From George W. Bush, Will You Please Go Now?, attempting to deconstruct Ann Coulter's latest ravings about the Iraq war: "We're at the point now where neocons are so desperate to justify their WMD claims, they'd seize upon Saddam's stockpiles of Jack Daniels as 'evidence' if they thought they could prove Iraq was about to unleash an epidemic of the whiskey shits on unsuspecting American cities." Now that's terrifying.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?