Friday, October 21, 2005

I Do What I Want To Because God Ordered Me To
The next time some WTF Christian jackass engages you in a debate on abortion, throw this out in the first round: God is Pro-Choice.

Repeat it a few times, because it won't get through your opponent's thick skull on one go. God is so pro-choice, in fact, that he's made free will more important that salvation. Heck, the notion of free will is even more important than any person or soul, as far a The Big Guy's concerned.

I hear some scoffers loitering in the vestabule, so I'll elaborate.

We've all heard the one about "if you love something, set it free," but the bottom line is that love (or Democracy, for that matter) obtained through duress has not really been obtained. Similarly, it's no fun playing pinball if there's no way to lose, because there's no value in succeeding if there's no way to fail.

That's why those WTF Christians are so hopped-up about everything secular. If those accursed homosexuals can get into heaven despite a lifestyle of unmitigated sin, then what's the sense of being all pushy and righteous all the time?

God knows this. That's why he lets you decide whether or not to sin and whether or not to "accept him into your heart," as the saying goes. God could have made you a mindless drone guaranteed for salvation, but he knows that there'd be no value in it that way. In a real sense (well, as "real" as any of this fairytale theorizing can be), salvation is therefore less important than the choice to accept salvation.

Ditto for all that damnation stuff. Sure, it's infinitely bad forever and ever amen, but God lets you go to hell if that's what you choose, because the choice is of greater significance to him than the eternal suffering that follows.

This sort of thinking is probably alien to the Krazy Koolaid Krowd, but a species of it underlies the whole idea of being personally pro-life and pro-choice. We atheists often frame it as the recognition that, even if I can decide damn well for myself, I don't have the right to decide damn well for everyone, so I leave the choice to you. And that's why the law should stay out of it.

Fundamentalists, despite themselves, know this to be true. The say that they want to ban abortion because it stops a beating heart and all that, but what they're really attempting is the banning of choice. Such a ban would be a literally ungodly piece of legislation.

"But wait!" they cry. "As a Christian nation, we're obliged to enforce Christian values and morality." Really? Ask Alabama Governor Bob Riley what he thinks of that position.

Despite Bob's best efforts, we apparently need only enforce those Christian values that don't inconvenience the Christians calling for their enforcement.

Hell, I could go on about this for eternity.

on edit: JB's mention of lascivious ice-cream-licking reminds me:

Did you hear the one about the obsessive solipsistic voyeur?
He sat around all day watching himself masturbate.

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