Thursday, November 11, 2004
Dangerously Weird
See if you can guess which of the following is from The Onion and which is from a real story in the Washington Post. Story number one:
Frank Rich of the New York Times earns Quote of the Day today for his comment on the Leslies in his latest column. Measuring Cary Leslie's hearty embrace of a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage against his own characterization of his family as "working poor," Rich says, "Maybe by 2008 some Democrat will figure out how to persuade him that it might be a higher moral value to worry about the future of his own family than some gay family he hasn't even met."
Recommended Reading: It's been hard for something as big as the Battle of Fallujah to get noticed on cable news this week, what with the Yasser Arafat death watch and the soap-operatic jury deliberations in the Lacey Peterson case, which is probably why the appearance of two military tanks at an antiwar protest in Los Angeles on Tuesday night isn't getting much press, either. The official explanations: They were in town for a Veteran's Day parade and they were lost; either that or they got stuck unexpectedly at a traffic light. But you know what it looks like. Welcome again to George Bush's America--where thinking the unthinkable keeps you from being surprised.
"We are living in dangerously weird times now.... Doom is the operative ethic.... Guaranteed Fear and Loathing. Abandon all hope. Prepare for the Weirdness...."--Hunter S. Thompson
See if you can guess which of the following is from The Onion and which is from a real story in the Washington Post. Story number one:
Tara Leslie, Cary's wife, has been praying for President Bush, too, and now she is saying, "I think it's so important to have a society of moral absolutes." ...Story number two:
On Sept. 10, 2001, Cary was earning about $55,000 a year. On Sept. 12, the decline began. . . . "Maybe $35,000," he says of what he earns now, and that includes income from a second job he took a year ago, delivering pizzas on Friday and Saturday nights....
"I don't blame President Bush for anything that's happened with my income," Cary says. Rather, he looks at Bush as someone who believes in "personal responsibility," which Cary believes in as well. Don't complain. Solve. "There are jobs out there" ...
"My family's been suffering ever since I lost my job at the screen-door factory, and I haven't seen a doctor for well on four years now," said father of four Buddy Kaldrin of Eerie, CO.... Basically, I'd give up if it weren't for God's grace. So it's good to know we have a president who cares about religion, too." ...The first story is from the Post; the second is from this week's Onion. Many, many Americans are going to have to work harder thanks to the results of the election, but I bet you would have never imagined the writers at The Onion would be among them.
"Our society is falling apart--our treasured values are under attack by terrorists," said Ellen Blaine of Givens, OH.... "We need someone with old-time morals in the White House. I may not have much of anything in this world, but at least I have my family."
Frank Rich of the New York Times earns Quote of the Day today for his comment on the Leslies in his latest column. Measuring Cary Leslie's hearty embrace of a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage against his own characterization of his family as "working poor," Rich says, "Maybe by 2008 some Democrat will figure out how to persuade him that it might be a higher moral value to worry about the future of his own family than some gay family he hasn't even met."
Recommended Reading: It's been hard for something as big as the Battle of Fallujah to get noticed on cable news this week, what with the Yasser Arafat death watch and the soap-operatic jury deliberations in the Lacey Peterson case, which is probably why the appearance of two military tanks at an antiwar protest in Los Angeles on Tuesday night isn't getting much press, either. The official explanations: They were in town for a Veteran's Day parade and they were lost; either that or they got stuck unexpectedly at a traffic light. But you know what it looks like. Welcome again to George Bush's America--where thinking the unthinkable keeps you from being surprised.
"We are living in dangerously weird times now.... Doom is the operative ethic.... Guaranteed Fear and Loathing. Abandon all hope. Prepare for the Weirdness...."--Hunter S. Thompson
