Wednesday, November 10, 2004
Elmer Gantry Goes Home
I trust you slept incredibly well last night, given that "the objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved." That's what John Ashcroft wrote in his letter of resignation as Attorney General yesterday. Let us count some of the ways in which his comment is the most hilarious thing a public official has said since the last time Bush tried to ad lib. First of all, it's off-the-charts untrue, both empirically and metaphorically. Empirically, because crimes are still being committed in every state, little old ladies being knocked on the head and having their purses taken, gang members capping each other, etc. It's not as if every criminally inclined American has taken up other pastimes thanks to the thoroughness of Ashcroft's department. Metaphorically, it's also false--Ashcroft was something like 0-for-5000 in catching terrorists, so if the country is secure, it's hasn't got much to do with him. And nobody believes terrorists will never try to strike again. Plus, Ashcroft's proclamation goes pretty far off the administration's talking points. Didn't he get the memo that Americans are never going to be safe, which is why we have to keep electing Republicans or we'll die?
Ashcroft submitted his resignation with a handwritten letter, which he claimed was to "maintain confidentiality." Ashcroft was disliked by some of his subordinates in the Justice Department because of what they perceived as his love of grandstanding--and this is another example of it. What, Margaret from the secretarial service might be an Al Qaeda plant? Or worse, from CNN?
If Ashcroft were a character in a novel, you'd call him a caricature. A Pharisee praying on the street corner, self-promoting, priggish (remember the draped statues in the Justice Department?), and utterly convinced of his own incorruptibility. He'd be the worst public official in the history of the Republic if his boss wasn't worse. You'd think his replacement would have to be better almost by default, but don't hold your breath. It will likely be his deputy, Larry Thompson, who won't be any better on civil liberties, but will likely be smoother than Ashcroft was--in other words, a better salesman for the same lousy product.
On the subject of "resignations," it's standard procedure for a newly elected president to ask for the resignations of his entire cabinet, and then accept as many as he likes. Ashcroft and Commerce Secretary Don Evans were merely the first; there will be others. Poor Colin Powell will probably go next--one hopes he might follow his service with a pilgrimage to Tibet to find his missing honor and dignity. (Gibbering warhawk Michael Ledeen is proposing Powell be replaced by Zell Miller, which is so unthinkably insane that it will probably happen.)
Recommended Reading: We have heard a lot over the last several years how the decadent coastal elites are immoral, and that the cultural values we should value the most are those of the "heartland." Josh Marshall put up a stone brilliant post yesterday pointing out that when we look at indicators of moral values, such as divorce rate, out-of-wedlock births, incidence of preventable disease, and crime statistics, there are indeed regional differences in values--the rates of all of these negative indicators tend to be higher in the supposedly more moral Red States, particularly in the South.
Some blue-staters have had enough of the South, and think that newspaper editor Horace Greeley was right after all when he told Abraham Lincoln in 1861 that we should "let the erring sisters go in peace." I think that's what this guy is trying to say, although he chooses slightly different words.
I trust you slept incredibly well last night, given that "the objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved." That's what John Ashcroft wrote in his letter of resignation as Attorney General yesterday. Let us count some of the ways in which his comment is the most hilarious thing a public official has said since the last time Bush tried to ad lib. First of all, it's off-the-charts untrue, both empirically and metaphorically. Empirically, because crimes are still being committed in every state, little old ladies being knocked on the head and having their purses taken, gang members capping each other, etc. It's not as if every criminally inclined American has taken up other pastimes thanks to the thoroughness of Ashcroft's department. Metaphorically, it's also false--Ashcroft was something like 0-for-5000 in catching terrorists, so if the country is secure, it's hasn't got much to do with him. And nobody believes terrorists will never try to strike again. Plus, Ashcroft's proclamation goes pretty far off the administration's talking points. Didn't he get the memo that Americans are never going to be safe, which is why we have to keep electing Republicans or we'll die?
Ashcroft submitted his resignation with a handwritten letter, which he claimed was to "maintain confidentiality." Ashcroft was disliked by some of his subordinates in the Justice Department because of what they perceived as his love of grandstanding--and this is another example of it. What, Margaret from the secretarial service might be an Al Qaeda plant? Or worse, from CNN?
If Ashcroft were a character in a novel, you'd call him a caricature. A Pharisee praying on the street corner, self-promoting, priggish (remember the draped statues in the Justice Department?), and utterly convinced of his own incorruptibility. He'd be the worst public official in the history of the Republic if his boss wasn't worse. You'd think his replacement would have to be better almost by default, but don't hold your breath. It will likely be his deputy, Larry Thompson, who won't be any better on civil liberties, but will likely be smoother than Ashcroft was--in other words, a better salesman for the same lousy product.
On the subject of "resignations," it's standard procedure for a newly elected president to ask for the resignations of his entire cabinet, and then accept as many as he likes. Ashcroft and Commerce Secretary Don Evans were merely the first; there will be others. Poor Colin Powell will probably go next--one hopes he might follow his service with a pilgrimage to Tibet to find his missing honor and dignity. (Gibbering warhawk Michael Ledeen is proposing Powell be replaced by Zell Miller, which is so unthinkably insane that it will probably happen.)
Recommended Reading: We have heard a lot over the last several years how the decadent coastal elites are immoral, and that the cultural values we should value the most are those of the "heartland." Josh Marshall put up a stone brilliant post yesterday pointing out that when we look at indicators of moral values, such as divorce rate, out-of-wedlock births, incidence of preventable disease, and crime statistics, there are indeed regional differences in values--the rates of all of these negative indicators tend to be higher in the supposedly more moral Red States, particularly in the South.
Some blue-staters have had enough of the South, and think that newspaper editor Horace Greeley was right after all when he told Abraham Lincoln in 1861 that we should "let the erring sisters go in peace." I think that's what this guy is trying to say, although he chooses slightly different words.
