Wednesday, December 08, 2004
Fear and Loathing, 2004
The folks over at Pandagon have opened nominations for Most Annoying Conservative of the Year. I tend to agree with the commenter who says "annoying" is too mild an adjective and suggests "loathsome"--so here's my top-of-the-head list of the Most Loathsome Conservatives of 2004, presented in no particular order. (I'm not including Bush, Rove, Cheney, or other administration officials on this list; their loathsomeness is a given.)
Michelle Malkin: Loathsome B-list pundit who made the leap to the A-list this year by arguing that internment, as practiced on Japanese-Americans in World War II, was OK, and that it might be a valid policy to pursue in the future. Ensured her position on the list for criticizing Theresa Heinz Kerry for taking her husband's name for political purposes while doing the same thing herself--using her maiden name, Maglalang, legally, and her married name, Malkin, publicly.
James Dobson: There are many loathsome radical clerics who'd qualify for this list, but I'll pick Dobson to stand for them all, because of the reach of his media empire and his belief that "he is sinless and morally perfect," according to former Dobson associate Gil Alexander-Moegerle. Not to mention his garden-variety racism, sexism, and homophobia.
John McCain: Was one of the few Republicans with the moral authority to have opposed Bush during his first term. Wants to be president in 2008 so badly, however, that he kept quiet on all issues that mattered. Is now leading the charge against steroids in baseball. Senator, is THAT why you spent all those years in a North Vietnamese prison?
Sean Hannity: A loathsome totalitarian whose worship of Bush comes right out of the Stalin/Kim Jong-Il playbook. In addition, the truth is not in him. Most recent example: His claim that every American taxpayer got the same amount of money from Bush's tax cuts. The kind of guy who would do play-by-play at executions.
David Brooks: I used to like him when he was just a social commentator, writing Bobos in Paradise and deconstructing the red vs. blue dichotomy in Atlantic Monthly. But then he got his column in the New York Times, became an apologist for Bush, and started pushing his red-state/blue-state contrast metaphors progressively further, from apt to cutesy to stupid. (A commenter at Pandagon made one up that caused me to laugh out loud--"Blue staters are the sort of people who like Taco, Red staters prefer Falco." If you get why it's funny, let me know.)
Tom DeLay: People sometimes call the likes of Dobson, Falwell, and Robertson "ayatollahs," but DeLay is closer to actually being one because of the political power he holds. Because he seems to believe that whatever he does is above the law and that he knows what's best for you better than you do, he's a loathsome enemy of democracy.
John Gard: Speaker of the Wisconsin Assembly, he's the most loathsome wingnut in our legislature, which is some damn accomplishment. Represents a northeastern Wisconsin district but lives in a Madison suburb. Acts as if he's swallowed Rick Santorum whole. Is a likely candidate for governor in 2006. Great.
Alan Keyes: Lifetime achievement award.
Annie Jacobsen: I admit I never would have thought of her on my own and lifted the suggestion a couple of other bloggers. She's the woman who got freaked out by a group of Syrian musicians on an airplane flight last spring, believing they were terrorists. She soon became the wingnuts' favorite poster girl for racial profiling, even though her story and its later justifications were revealed to be equal parts naivete and bullshit. (Salon's Patrick Smith covered the story extensively last August.)
If I were to pick the single most loathsome conservative of 2004, however, that would be Oklahoma senator-elect Tom Coburn. He could be another stand-in for a whole group--the freshman class of Republican Senators to be sworn in next month. They represent the modern wingnut in quintuplicate--religiously chauvinistic, anti-gay, totally on-board with whatever Bush wants to do, and hiding distasteful skeletons in their closets. Coburn, however, is clearly the largest almond in the Hershey bar. He's the one who said that girls in Oklahoma schools can't go to the restroom without being harassed by marauding gangs of lesbians. He wants the death penalty for doctors who perform abortions--even though as an MD, he did them himself. And he's the guy who criticized NBC years ago for showing Schindler's List, claiming it would encourage "irresponsible sexual behavior."
I wonder what color the sky is on his planet.
The folks over at Pandagon have opened nominations for Most Annoying Conservative of the Year. I tend to agree with the commenter who says "annoying" is too mild an adjective and suggests "loathsome"--so here's my top-of-the-head list of the Most Loathsome Conservatives of 2004, presented in no particular order. (I'm not including Bush, Rove, Cheney, or other administration officials on this list; their loathsomeness is a given.)
Michelle Malkin: Loathsome B-list pundit who made the leap to the A-list this year by arguing that internment, as practiced on Japanese-Americans in World War II, was OK, and that it might be a valid policy to pursue in the future. Ensured her position on the list for criticizing Theresa Heinz Kerry for taking her husband's name for political purposes while doing the same thing herself--using her maiden name, Maglalang, legally, and her married name, Malkin, publicly.
James Dobson: There are many loathsome radical clerics who'd qualify for this list, but I'll pick Dobson to stand for them all, because of the reach of his media empire and his belief that "he is sinless and morally perfect," according to former Dobson associate Gil Alexander-Moegerle. Not to mention his garden-variety racism, sexism, and homophobia.
John McCain: Was one of the few Republicans with the moral authority to have opposed Bush during his first term. Wants to be president in 2008 so badly, however, that he kept quiet on all issues that mattered. Is now leading the charge against steroids in baseball. Senator, is THAT why you spent all those years in a North Vietnamese prison?
Sean Hannity: A loathsome totalitarian whose worship of Bush comes right out of the Stalin/Kim Jong-Il playbook. In addition, the truth is not in him. Most recent example: His claim that every American taxpayer got the same amount of money from Bush's tax cuts. The kind of guy who would do play-by-play at executions.
David Brooks: I used to like him when he was just a social commentator, writing Bobos in Paradise and deconstructing the red vs. blue dichotomy in Atlantic Monthly. But then he got his column in the New York Times, became an apologist for Bush, and started pushing his red-state/blue-state contrast metaphors progressively further, from apt to cutesy to stupid. (A commenter at Pandagon made one up that caused me to laugh out loud--"Blue staters are the sort of people who like Taco, Red staters prefer Falco." If you get why it's funny, let me know.)
Tom DeLay: People sometimes call the likes of Dobson, Falwell, and Robertson "ayatollahs," but DeLay is closer to actually being one because of the political power he holds. Because he seems to believe that whatever he does is above the law and that he knows what's best for you better than you do, he's a loathsome enemy of democracy.
John Gard: Speaker of the Wisconsin Assembly, he's the most loathsome wingnut in our legislature, which is some damn accomplishment. Represents a northeastern Wisconsin district but lives in a Madison suburb. Acts as if he's swallowed Rick Santorum whole. Is a likely candidate for governor in 2006. Great.
Alan Keyes: Lifetime achievement award.
Annie Jacobsen: I admit I never would have thought of her on my own and lifted the suggestion a couple of other bloggers. She's the woman who got freaked out by a group of Syrian musicians on an airplane flight last spring, believing they were terrorists. She soon became the wingnuts' favorite poster girl for racial profiling, even though her story and its later justifications were revealed to be equal parts naivete and bullshit. (Salon's Patrick Smith covered the story extensively last August.)
If I were to pick the single most loathsome conservative of 2004, however, that would be Oklahoma senator-elect Tom Coburn. He could be another stand-in for a whole group--the freshman class of Republican Senators to be sworn in next month. They represent the modern wingnut in quintuplicate--religiously chauvinistic, anti-gay, totally on-board with whatever Bush wants to do, and hiding distasteful skeletons in their closets. Coburn, however, is clearly the largest almond in the Hershey bar. He's the one who said that girls in Oklahoma schools can't go to the restroom without being harassed by marauding gangs of lesbians. He wants the death penalty for doctors who perform abortions--even though as an MD, he did them himself. And he's the guy who criticized NBC years ago for showing Schindler's List, claiming it would encourage "irresponsible sexual behavior."
I wonder what color the sky is on his planet.
