Monday, January 24, 2005
Time Out
Posts are going to be light to nonexistent here from now until Wednesday at least, as I have other reponsibilities that are keeping me away from my computer for a while. In the interim, you might want to head over to the website of a newspaper called The Beast, based in Buffalo, New York. It's got some pretty funny stuff, including real op-ed columns by the likes of Matt Taibbi, a favorite of mine, and fake news like you'd find in The Onion. A recent issue features a list of the 50 Most Loathsome People in America, 2004. Some excerpts: Dick Cheney is "The kind of guy who starts talking cannibalism the minute he steps on the lifeboat." George W. Bush: "Appears to be only dimly aware that he is destroying the future, but seems to think it’s kind of funny." Donald Trump: "Is to dignified wealth what Michael Jackson is to competent childcare."
The piece (author sadly uncredited) suggests a fitting punishment for each person on the list. For instance, for Mel Gibson, "Neurodegenerative illness that could have been cured through stem cell research." For Nicole Richie, star of the Fox series The Simple Life, with Paris Hilton: "10-page pictorial in Stuff sans airbrushing, and no Oxycontin for a whole week." And so on. Harsh, but hilarious.
Posts are going to be light to nonexistent here from now until Wednesday at least, as I have other reponsibilities that are keeping me away from my computer for a while. In the interim, you might want to head over to the website of a newspaper called The Beast, based in Buffalo, New York. It's got some pretty funny stuff, including real op-ed columns by the likes of Matt Taibbi, a favorite of mine, and fake news like you'd find in The Onion. A recent issue features a list of the 50 Most Loathsome People in America, 2004. Some excerpts: Dick Cheney is "The kind of guy who starts talking cannibalism the minute he steps on the lifeboat." George W. Bush: "Appears to be only dimly aware that he is destroying the future, but seems to think it’s kind of funny." Donald Trump: "Is to dignified wealth what Michael Jackson is to competent childcare."
The piece (author sadly uncredited) suggests a fitting punishment for each person on the list. For instance, for Mel Gibson, "Neurodegenerative illness that could have been cured through stem cell research." For Nicole Richie, star of the Fox series The Simple Life, with Paris Hilton: "10-page pictorial in Stuff sans airbrushing, and no Oxycontin for a whole week." And so on. Harsh, but hilarious.
