Saturday, July 23, 2005

Why Does the Weather Channel Hate America?
So last night I saw a guy wearing a T-shirt that said, "Liberalism: the fear that somebody somewhere might be able to take care of themselves." Boy howdy, what we really need is a return to the good old days when people either looked out for themselves entirely or starved to death.

What we need, then, is to repeal the 20th century.

Of course, if you're going to repeal the 20th century, you need to get rid of lots of 20th century shit. Civil rights legislation. Limits on nuclear proliferation. The New Deal. Free elections.

And the goddamned Weather Channel.

Last April, GOPUSA warned the faithful that the Weather Channel was on the evil bandwagon of those who believe in global warming. And last week, Renew America columnist Chuck Baldwin blamed the Weather Channel for spreading panic in Florida with its hyping of hurricanes.

There are legitimate reasons for criticizing the Weather Channel for the hyping of hurricanes. The on-camera meteorologists were visibly geeked-up during the weekend Dennis hit Florida. (I haven't seen such a manic glow on so many faces since last year's wine festival.) Their descriptions sometimes got cutesy or purple, and there's something vaguely ridiculous about a guy standing in a horizontal rainstorm, holding onto his hat, saying "The rain is really coming down out here, Kristina." And as a Floridian, Baldwin makes some legitimate points about the way such drumbeat coverage can, indeed, cause fear. But he's also a wingnut, and so he finds a political agenda in it as well: "[P]erhaps they are attempting to create fear and panic to the point that we lose our will and common sense and become mindless servants to 'the experts.'"

Picture the production meeting: Intrepid, studly on-camera meteorologist Jim Cantore, his cameraman, and his producer--a skinny guy with glasses and a goatee who attended some east-coast university--strapping on the rain gear in the hotel. As they get into the van to head for the beachside location, the producer says, "Now remember, Jim--be sure to create as much fear and panic as you can. We've got to do our part to cause people to lose their will and common sense. Because when we do, the liberals win."

That's another thing we'll need to get rid of--experts. Meteorologists? Screw 'em. Look out the window. If it's wet, it's raining. Real Americans don't need anybody to tell them what to do. And if they do, they ought to go to the only sources worth trusting--like, maybe GOPUSA and Renew America.

I'd rather stand out in a hurricane.

Back to you, Kristina.

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