Tuesday, January 24, 2006

We Have Found a Witch--May We Burn Her?
It's a whole month's worth of Quote of the Day in a single article--yes, the long-awaited Most Loathsome People of 2005 from the Buffalo Beast. Hat tip to contributors Allan Uthman, Paul Jones, Ian Murphy, and Chris Riordan--who are not very nice people, but in a very good way.

Tom DeLay: "A politician so horrible, his prior career as an exterminator constitutes fratricide."

Scooter Libby: "A high-level fall guy, responsible for leaking what was in the interest of profit, not leaking what wasn’t, and barking on cue to produce the noise of governance without the drawbacks of actual governance."

("The noise of governance without the drawbacks of actual governance" might be the single greatest description of the Bush Administration ever coined.)

Paris Hilton: "Her continued success as a celebrity famous for nothing, despite the eerie resemblance she bears to the inbred banjoist from Deliverance and a lack of talent so profound that others become duller as they approach her, indicates that something is fundamentally wrong with humanity."

Karl Rove: "[H]e is simply missing the part of his soul that prevents the rest of us from kicking elderly women in the face."

Martha Stewart: "Only in America could a plutocrat convicted of insider trading find sympathy among her social inferiors--people she would have either sterilized or mustard gassed, if the law permitted her."

Each of the people cited on the list gets an appropriate sentence as punishment for being who they are. For God (#13 on the list), the Beast proposes: "Forever listening to an unending stream of idiotic, mundane prayers uttered by the dumbest, most inarticulate people in His creation." For Barbara Bush (#12): "Bound and thrown into Lake Pontchartrain. If she floats, burned at the stake. If she drowns, even better."

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