Thursday, April 06, 2006

Jesus Doesn't Love You, He Thinks You're a Jerk
If you're not into hockey and don't care about the NCAA Frozen Four, don't feel like a perverted freak who's a threat to everything Americans hold dear because of that. Know instead that if you're reading this blog, you're probably already a perverted freak who's a threat to everything Americans hold dear, at least according to the Americans who attended the "War on Christians" conference held last week in DC. People for the American Way has a full-length report on the conference--which offers mind-blowing detail on the current orthodoxy amongst the delusional clowns of the Christian Right. A few choice bits:
--Christians should stop worrying about tolerance because Jesus was the most intolerant person in the world.

--Same-sex marriage supporters = suicide bombers.

--Homos want to make Christianity illegal.

--Immigrants = Satan.

--If it weren't for the right's culture war, Al Qaeda would defeat Western civilization.

--A "values voter" cannot be a Democrat.
And so on. It's worth repeating that this isn't a collection of nuts living in fortified compounds--these are mainstream Republican voters, the constituents of, among others, Senators John Cornyn of Texas, Sam Brownback of Kansas (who wants to be president), and Rick Santorum of Pennsylvania. And this conference, hilarious though it seems to the non-Jesus-drunk, it has a very practical purpose: whipping up the faithful to ensure that votes and money go toward their candidates in the November elections. And with this crowd, fear is the most reliable motivator they've got.

Recommended Viewing: Britney Spears was a Mouseketeer. Elvis was a truck driver. Almost everybody who gets to be famous has to pay some dues, even if it's just putting up with being patronized by the American Idol judges. In 1964, the Rolling Stones paid some of their pre-stardom dues by recording the rockin'est cereal commercial of all time. They don't appear in it, but you can't mistake the Mick Jagger snarl, even when it's selling Rice Krispies.

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