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Friday, May 19, 2006

It's Not a Lie If You Believe It
These are the kind of headlines that greet us online and in the paper this morning, headlines which say things that we know are untrue:

"Hayden Insists NSA Surveillance Is Legal" (No word on whether he also insisted that the Cubs will contend for the pennant, that donuts won't make you fat, or that Paris Hilton is a virgin.)

"Bush Says Border Fencing Makes Sense" (Of course, abstinence education, tax cuts, and Iraq make sense to him too, so what the hell do you expect?)

Let's see if we can make up some headlines that are just as likely to be true:
"Harry Potter Author: 'I Want Your Kids to Worship Satan'"

"New Leads in Jimmy Hoffa Disappearance" (No, wait, that's real.)

"Donuts Won't Make You Fat" (Nah, maybe that's not so good. There are probably a few people around who believe it. Skeptical? Hey, there are people who believe this.)

"Barry Bonds Retires, Admits Steroid Use"
And so on. You can probably think of your own.

On the subject of lies, brouhaha has been swirling around reporter Jason Leopold, who wrote last Friday that Karl Rove had told White House colleagues he was going to be indicted and that he planned to step down as soon as he was. The story swept the blogs last weekend, but was treated with more skepticism than you'd expect from people who have been dying to see Rove's perp walk. The muted response seemed odd to me, although I didn't investigate the reason why. Here's why. First, absolutely nobody else had the story. Second, Leopold's credibility is apparently less than completely solid--Salon sacked him a few years back for using unsubstantiated material in a story. Capitol Hill Blue has the details.

Whether Leopold is ethical or credible or something less than both, the bottom line on Rove this morning seems to be this: Given past patterns in the special prosecutor's office, chances are good that if Rove is going to get his, it will come today.

To be on the safe side, however, don't hold your breath.

Recommended Reading: Once again, I love me some News Blog, which picked up a Huffington Post post (post post post) from Kevin Phillips, author of American Theocracy and former high Republican thinker, about the likelihood of Bush and Cheney surviving the summer in office, let alone the full 977 days remaining in their term. Phillips suggests that House speaker Dennis Hastert, third in line, is manifestly unqualified to be president, so the Repugs might consider appointing someone else to be speaker--and that someone doesn't have to be a sitting member of the House. It could be a senator. Phillips suggests Lugar of Indiana or Warner of Virginia--either of whom, though they are Republicans, would be a vast improvement over HWSNBN and Dick Him Before He Dicks You. (Good nickname--credit to Jerry Bowles at Best of the Blogs for it--but too long. Henceforth, we shall refer to the vice president as "Himby.") Except here's the thing--House Repugs, who elect the speaker, won't do anything without White House marching orders, and they surely won't mess with the presidential succession. And besides, everybody knows that if Himby drops dead or resigns, Condoleezza Rice gets the VP gig. And she makes Hastert look like Lincoln.

Also, Mark Morford has been playing around with Google Trends, a new web tool that unveils all sorts of information about who's googling what and where they're googling from. Just what the Internet needs--another great time-waster.

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